The phone interview, done by an RN, was “interesting.”
Early into the call:
“What operations have you had in the past.”
“I’ve had bilateral total hip replacements.”
“Why?”
“I had advanced degenerative joint disease.”
“Oh, okay.”
A bit later:
“Have you had any abnormal X-ray studies in the past?”
“Yes, on my hips.”
“What was abnormal on the right hip X-ray?”
“It showed advanced DJD.”
“What was the outcome?”
“I had a total right hip replacement.”
“Oh (and not, oh yeah) okay, what was abnormal on the left hip X-ray?”
Me, after briefly contemplating if I was being punked:
“It showed advanced DJD.”
“What was the outcome?”
“I had a left total hip replacement.”
“Oh, okay, let’s move on to some additional questions.”
The interview continued with more questions, many of which were redundant.
Clearly the RN was reading through a list of questions, having had to, hopefully only temporarily, abandon her common-sense once our encounter had commenced.
Prior to the call, I had looked into what to expect for the over-the-phone cognitive screen.
One question always apparent was, “in the next minute, name as many animals as you can.”
(Naming 15 or more is considered normal)
I was ready.
However, I was queried , “in the next minute, name as many fruits and vegetables as you can.”
Despite being temporarily stunned, I quickly recovered and proceeded to peel (pun intended) off, greater than 30.
A few weeks later a thin envelope arrived with the insurance company logo.
Remembering college application days from the 70s, when a thin envelope was consistent with being denied acceptance, I knew a disapproval was most likely before I opened the letter.
However, I was oddly comforted: “A long-term health care policy cannot be underwritten due to having had bilateral hip replacements.”
There was no inkling of cognitive deficits!
I admit…I’d prefer to be somewhat functionally impaired and cognitively intact than the alternative-functionally intact and cognitively impaired-before leaving earth!
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