Recycling myself

“For most of us, who we are, is based on what we do. If we become too dependent on this mind-set and our job ends, we lose our sense of identity. So before, or soon after retirement, we need to redefine who we are in a positive and meaningful way. Recycle yourself.”-Dr. Barbara Udell

I’ve had thoughts, during most days, of doing something part-time related to my medical career since it was a large part of my identity for 4-decades, especially when recalling wonderful encounters with patients, caregivers, and families

But while sleeping, I’ve had almost nightly dreams that include dealing with a difficult patient, caregiver, or family.

For me, a difficult encounter never had anything to do with complex or challenging medical issues.

It had to do with them being difficult to deal with, despite my best attempts showing empathy and respect, due to disrespectful communication and/or aberrant behavior.

I’ve awakened during these dreams, had a hard time getting back to sleep, and have consistently concluded, at those times, that I’ve “had enough.”

I suspect I’ll continue to navigate through these opposing thoughts during the day and night, until I make up my mind as to whether to do something part-time involving patient care.

Being a doctor was a honor and a wonderful career, but it wasn’t my whole identity.

Fortunately, I don’t need to completely recycle myself.