Working remotely

One consequence of the COVID pandemic: it’s now almost an expectation that working remotely, full-time, or for at least half or more of a work week, is the new norm.

Prior to leaving my most recent position, employees who were home “working” occasionally accidentally left their camera on during a meeting on Zoom or Teams while lying in bed, holding a crying young child, etc., or forgot to mute when spouses were letting them know breakfast was ready, dogs were barking, etc..

I even heard about one instance when an individual forgot to do both (turn off the camera and mute) while sitting on the commode without a shirt and visibly straining during a bowel movement.

When the federal government announced the return to work edict, national news aired interviews with federal employees who voiced anger at the increased expense and inconvenience of: 1. having to pay for gas and tolls to commute 2. having to purchase professional clothing and 3. having to arrange and pay for child care.

I know another person who noted she couldn’t return to the work place, to continue to work, because she was home-schooling her children.

My son, who has never worked remotely, sarcastically noted that there was one good outcome of the return to work proclamation: folks would rediscover an appreciation for housework (laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc.) that can only be done at night or on weekends.

It’s an interesting time for employers as they navigate through this expectation of their employees.

I completely understand, and have empathy for, the convenience, value, and privilege of having young children at home and the financial strain of all issues noted above.

Although its only been about 5 years since this change occurred for many, I’m sure it feels like it’s been much longer for all involved.

I did for me when I was the medical director of a large interdisciplinary team (with providers, nurses, social workers, nutritionists, pharmacists, rehab therapists, recreational therapist) and didn’t, except for an occasional weather event, work remotely.

I do wish all the best.

But, full disclosure, I’m not disappointed that I haven’t had to continue to tip-toe through this issue for the last 4 months.

Recycling myself

“For most of us, who we are, is based on what we do. If we become too dependent on this mind-set and our job ends, we lose our sense of identity. So before, or soon after retirement, we need to redefine who we are in a positive and meaningful way. Recycle yourself.”-Dr. Barbara Udell

I’ve had thoughts, during most days, of doing something part-time related to my medical career since it was a large part of my identity for 4-decades, especially when recalling wonderful encounters with patients, caregivers, and families

But while sleeping, I’ve had almost nightly dreams that include dealing with a difficult patient, caregiver, or family.

For me, a difficult encounter never had anything to do with complex or challenging medical issues.

It had to do with them being difficult to deal with, despite my best attempts showing empathy and respect, due to disrespectful communication and/or aberrant behavior.

I’ve awakened during these dreams, had a hard time getting back to sleep, and have consistently concluded, at those times, that I’ve “had enough.”

I suspect I’ll continue to navigate through these opposing thoughts during the day and night, until I make up my mind as to whether to do something part-time involving patient care.

Being a doctor was a honor and a wonderful career, but it wasn’t my whole identity.

Fortunately, I don’t need to completely recycle myself.

Being roasted

My usual work attire always consisted of khakis and a dress shirt, which was usually plaid.

At my last team-wide meeting, before I retired, the nurse practitioners all stepped out of the conference room at the same time

Shortly after, they came back in wearing khakis and plaid dress shirts.

A couple even donned a white wig.

I started to laugh, as did the others in the room.

They then proceeded to each tell a brief anecdote of something funny that had happened during our years working together, while also doing their best to duplicate some of my (many) mannerisms.

Roasting my work attire, as well as some of my idiosyncrasies, was greatly appreciated.

I’m sure to smile, when reminiscing about it, for the rest of my life.

An OA

“The elderly population, consisting of persons aged 65 or greater…” was the first sentence of a 2025 medical article.

The term elderly has not been recommended for many years due to stereotyping older adults as sick, frail, and dependent.

It’s an ageist term.

Older individuals, of the same age, can be very heterogeneous.

One may be sick, frail and dependent, while another is healthy, active, and independent.

The International Longevity Center recommended using the term older adult (OA) many years ago.

I agree and multiple surveys have concluded the same.

I’m totally fine with being an OA, with OA (osteoarthritis).

But…I’m not elderly! 😏.

Introductions to another physician

My family doctor, who I had seen yearly for over two decades, and was my age, had the audacity to retire almost two-years ago (said sarcastically).

I recently went to see a new family physician, whom my wife had help to train and whom she recommended I see.

He was in his mid-to-late 30s.

In general, everything went fine except for the following:

I introduced myself by my first name when I stood to shake his hand.

He introduced himself as “Dr.,” followed only by his last name.

That annoyed me, as he knew I was a physician.

But it’s no surprise that I was annoyed.

I’ve always introduced myself to other physicians by my first name.

A physician who introduces himself as “Dr.,”  followed only by their last name, when acknowledging my introduction, has always been a pet peeve, especially if I’m older or we are about the same age.

But, I’ve always made it a point of getting to know their first name so as to only use it when we subsequently cross pass professionally and/or socially.

I wonder if that annoys them?

Improved driving skills

Many retirement experts recommend remaining a life-long learner.

That won’t be difficult for me.

While I admit that my medical journals have been mainly un-read for the last few months, I’ve currently been watching too numerous to count instructional videos daily, in addition to investigating many other topics of interest that I previously didn’t have the time to even begin to consider.

One outcome of my most recent life-long learning is that my driving skills have significantly improved…but I still need a lot of work on my short game, uneven lies, and getting out of bunkers! 😀.

Showered, groomed, and dressed

Although my wife and I never worked together, we always left for work at about the same time, showered, groomed and dressed.

Lately, since being retired, I’ve been sleeping-in until about 7 am during the weekdays.

By that time, my wife is already about half-way through her pre-work routine-usually in the hair curler and finishing make-up phase.

When she heads off for work at about 730 am, I’m typically drinking coffee, un-showered, un-groomed, and wearing my sleep garments (usually a wrinkled, baggy T-shirt, and gym shorts).

She has always said variations of, “Love you babe, have a great day, you look really nice,” before we went our separate ways, and I still say variations of the same to her.

But, “you look really nice,” is no longer applicable for me in the morning and I completely understand.

However, I always make an effort for when she arrives home.

Fortunately, she gives me a heads up text message when leaving work for her 30-minute commute home.

It allows me to get re-showered, re-groomed, and re-dressed due to having spent the day doing yard-work, working out, golfing, playing pickleball, reading, blogging, running errands, etc., often looking the same as I did when drinking my morning coffee.