My work email compromise, remembered

I just got back from a long weekend, out of town, with friends.

Prior to my retirement, a colleague was always my surrogate for any urgent/emergent issues when on vacation.

Nonetheless, the email barrage continued.

I struggled with the following: keep up with work emails when away, or just face hundreds once returning to the office.

Keeping up adversely affected family-time.

Deciding to not keep up also had an adverse effect…intrusive thoughts, that I tried to suppress, about the hours of work pending once returning to the office.

But fortunately, the intermittent feelings of gloom did not usually kick in until the second half of a vacation, only when the vacation was winding down.

Eventually, I compromised.

I would spend the hours needed to address and clear at home, to whatever degree possible, the night prior to returning to the office, or would go into my office the day prior (usually on a Sunday), when nobody else was there, if/when travel arrangements allowed for the same.

It never stopped the “thank God you’re back, you won’t believe what happened when you were away” comments from my staff on most every return, but I did enjoy my time away to a greater degree and always slept somewhat better the night before returning to the office.

FDA approval

During my career I would remind patients of the statements, “these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and this product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease,” when patients would ask for my opinion on a dietary supplement or brochure/advertisement that they had seen.

Many had already purchased and some had already started taking the supplement in question.

I always tried to look into further for them.

I just finished reading, No More Tears (2025), by Gardiner Harris.

It’s extensively referenced and an excellent read.

I never knew the FDA was funded by industry, not taxpayers.

I should have made the following statement to patients, over my career, whenever I started them on any FDA approved medication/medical device:

This medication/medical device has been approved by the FDA but the approval may have been made by members of a review panel who had a financial incentive to approve and/or without the results of clinical trials that concluded adverse outcomes, due to being intentionally excluded from the submitted application, by the pharmaceutical company.

Gardiner Harris makes excellent recommendations on the last few pages on how to move forward from here.

It will be interesting to see if anything changes.

Working remotely

One consequence of the COVID pandemic: it’s now almost an expectation that working remotely, full-time, or for at least half or more of a work week, is the new norm.

Prior to leaving my most recent position, employees who were home “working” occasionally accidentally left their camera on during a meeting on Zoom or Teams while lying in bed, holding a crying young child, etc., or forgot to mute when spouses were letting them know breakfast was ready, dogs were barking, etc..

I even heard about one instance when an individual forgot to do both (turn off the camera and mute) while sitting on the commode without a shirt and visibly straining during a bowel movement.

When the federal government announced the return to work edict, national news aired interviews with federal employees who voiced anger at the increased expense and inconvenience of: 1. having to pay for gas and tolls to commute 2. having to purchase professional clothing and 3. having to arrange and pay for child care.

I know another person who noted she couldn’t return to the work place, to continue to work, because she was home-schooling her children.

My son, who has never worked remotely, sarcastically noted that there was one good outcome of the return to work proclamation: folks would rediscover an appreciation for housework (laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc.) that can only be done at night or on weekends.

It’s an interesting time for employers as they navigate through this expectation of their employees.

I completely understand, and have empathy for, the convenience, value, and privilege of having young children at home and the financial strain of all issues noted above.

Although its only been about 5 years since this change occurred for many, I’m sure it feels like it’s been much longer for all involved.

I did for me when I was the medical director of a large interdisciplinary team (with providers, nurses, social workers, nutritionists, pharmacists, rehab therapists, recreational therapist) and didn’t, except for an occasional weather event, work remotely.

I do wish all the best.

But, full disclosure, I’m not disappointed that I haven’t had to continue to tip-toe through this issue for the last 4 months.

Recycling myself

“For most of us, who we are, is based on what we do. If we become too dependent on this mind-set and our job ends, we lose our sense of identity. So before, or soon after retirement, we need to redefine who we are in a positive and meaningful way. Recycle yourself.”-Dr. Barbara Udell

I’ve had thoughts, during most days, of doing something part-time related to my medical career since it was a large part of my identity for 4-decades, especially when recalling wonderful encounters with patients, caregivers, and families

But while sleeping, I’ve had almost nightly dreams that include dealing with a difficult patient, caregiver, or family.

For me, a difficult encounter never had anything to do with complex or challenging medical issues.

It had to do with them being difficult to deal with, despite my best attempts showing empathy and respect, due to disrespectful communication and/or aberrant behavior.

I’ve awakened during these dreams, had a hard time getting back to sleep, and have consistently concluded, at those times, that I’ve “had enough.”

I suspect I’ll continue to navigate through these opposing thoughts during the day and night, until I make up my mind as to whether to do something part-time involving patient care.

Being a doctor was a honor and a wonderful career, but it wasn’t my whole identity.

Fortunately, I don’t need to completely recycle myself.

Being roasted

My usual work attire always consisted of khakis and a dress shirt, which was usually plaid.

At my last team-wide meeting, before I retired, the nurse practitioners all stepped out of the conference room at the same time

Shortly after, they came back in wearing khakis and plaid dress shirts.

A couple even donned a white wig.

I started to laugh, as did the others in the room.

They then proceeded to each tell a brief anecdote of something funny that had happened during our years working together, while also doing their best to duplicate some of my (many) mannerisms.

Roasting my work attire, as well as some of my idiosyncrasies, was greatly appreciated.

I’m sure to smile, when reminiscing about it, for the rest of my life.

An OA

“The elderly population, consisting of persons aged 65 or greater…” was the first sentence of a 2025 medical article.

The term elderly has not been recommended for many years due to stereotyping older adults as sick, frail, and dependent.

It’s an ageist term.

Older individuals, of the same age, can be very heterogeneous.

One may be sick, frail and dependent, while another is healthy, active, and independent.

The International Longevity Center recommended using the term older adult (OA) many years ago.

I agree and multiple surveys have concluded the same.

I’m totally fine with being an OA, with OA (osteoarthritis).

But…I’m not elderly! 😏.

Introductions to another physician

My family doctor, who I had seen yearly for over two decades, and was my age, had the audacity to retire almost two-years ago (said sarcastically).

I recently went to see a new family physician, whom my wife had help to train and whom she recommended I see.

He was in his mid-to-late 30s.

In general, everything went fine except for the following:

I introduced myself by my first name when I stood to shake his hand.

He introduced himself as “Dr.,” followed only by his last name.

That annoyed me, as he knew I was a physician.

But it’s no surprise that I was annoyed.

I’ve always introduced myself to other physicians by my first name.

A physician who introduces himself as “Dr.,”  followed only by their last name, when acknowledging my introduction, has always been a pet peeve, especially if I’m older or we are about the same age.

But, I’ve always made it a point of getting to know their first name so as to only use it when we subsequently cross pass professionally and/or socially.

I wonder if that annoys them?

Improved driving skills

Many retirement experts recommend remaining a life-long learner.

That won’t be difficult for me.

While I admit that my medical journals have been mainly un-read for the last few months, I’ve currently been watching too numerous to count instructional videos daily, in addition to investigating many other topics of interest that I previously didn’t have the time to even begin to consider.

One outcome of my most recent life-long learning is that my driving skills have significantly improved…but I still need a lot of work on my short game, uneven lies, and getting out of bunkers! 😀.

Showered, groomed, and dressed

Although my wife and I never worked together, we always left for work at about the same time, showered, groomed and dressed.

Lately, since being retired, I’ve been sleeping-in until about 7 am during the weekdays.

By that time, my wife is already about half-way through her pre-work routine-usually in the hair curler and finishing make-up phase.

When she heads off for work at about 730 am, I’m typically drinking coffee, un-showered, un-groomed, and wearing my sleep garments (usually a wrinkled, baggy T-shirt, and gym shorts).

She has always said variations of, “Love you babe, have a great day, you look really nice,” before we went our separate ways, and I still say variations of the same to her.

But, “you look really nice,” is no longer applicable for me in the morning and I completely understand.

However, I always make an effort for when she arrives home.

Fortunately, she gives me a heads up text message when leaving work for her 30-minute commute home.

It allows me to get re-showered, re-groomed, and re-dressed due to having spent the day doing yard-work, working out, golfing, playing pickleball, reading, blogging, running errands, etc., often looking the same as I did when drinking my morning coffee.

Happiness and peace of mind

“If you got by without a work identity for the first eighteen or twenty years of your life, you can certainly get by without one for another twenty years - or for however long you live after you retire. Thinking that you need  a career identity to be a whole person is to deny yourself happiness and peace of mind.”-Ernie J. Zelinski, How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free.

(Although I wouldn’t mind occasionally being “identified” as an excellent pickleball player in my retirement years, I know it’s unlikely to happen, especially since I keep incurring musculoskeletal injuries whenever I go at it too hard on the court, and it’s just not necessary for me to be happy and have peace of mind! 😂)

A change of heart

When I was the medical director for a large medical team, many women, on the team, got pregnant.

Due to our generous maternity leave policy, as well as the amount of vacation most had usually accrued prior to getting pregnant, it was pretty much the standard that all would be absent from work for at least 6 months, once the baby arrived.

We never had the ability to hire temporary staffing.

So, whenever told by someone that they were pregnant, I would, obviously, always say, “Congrats! That’s great, wonderful news!”

But internally, while immediately contemplating a future prolonged staffing shortage would think, “Yikes (actually, I’m ashamed to admit…Crap)!”

Our first grandchildren, twins, are now almost 5 months old.

Their Mom has had an extended amount of time off, which has been a wonderful blessing, but must return to work soon.

She’s done an amazing job.

I really wish she had more (paid) time-off.

For some reason, I’ve never pondered a possible staffing shortage on her team, or had any inappropriate internal thoughts 😉!

RIs

I’ve been exercising a lot.

An earlier post reviewed my first retirement injury (RI) almost three months ago-a strained lower back sustained during a yoga class-I’m not kidding.

My 2nd RI occurred last evening-tweaked my left hamstring playing pickleball.

(I know-at least a lot easier to comprehend how than the yoga class injury!)

Luckily, it didn’t occur until after a couple dog walks and 2 hours at the driving range.

I’m going to lay somewhat low today but still plan to get to the gym.

I’ve got to do a shoulder strengthening routine that I’ve done for over a year now, since tearing my right rotator cuff from hitting an overhead volley while playing pickleball.

That injury was my last pre-RI!

Poker night

I’ve played in a low stakes poker game, almost every Wednesday night, for years.

It’s always been a really fun night, win or lose.

Great group of guys.

It always represented an excellent diversion in the middle of most hectic work weeks.

A countdown in days to playing again was always omnipresent on my mind.

My wife would note how I seemed to be in a good mood most Wednesday mornings getting ready for work.

There are so many wonderful diversions now that occasionally it’s a Wednesday afternoon and I remember, “oh yeah, I’ve got poker tonight!”

I can’t say that’s been a bad thing whatsoever!

Looking fresh

A former colleague: It’s great to see you. You look fresh, well rested.

Me: Thanks.

I am well rested.

I haven’t had my sleep interrupted due to being on call through the night for over three months now.

Being on call through the night is part and parcel with being a physician.

While some nights were relatively quiet, others completely sucked.

Working through the night, for the nursing staff, was not a joy for them, I know.

I always did self-talk, when called, reminding myself of the same so as to be respectful in responding, especially when called for concerns that really weren’t urgent or emergent.

Also, some of the least experienced nurses worked through the night as it often represented an initial opportunity for employment in the healthcare system where I practiced.

However, they went home after the night shift to rest.

I navigated through the next day of work often feeling like crap due to sleep deprivation.

I can honestly say I don’t miss call, that’s for sure.

I had 40 years of intermittently being on call through the night and for entire weekends.

I almost can’t remember just how terrible I felt, and must have looked, for a good portion of my adult life.

Another tension-free day

I re-read some retirement cards.

One amusing message noted, “good-bye tension, hello pension.” 😂.

Today was another tension-free day.

Got up at 7am.

My wife headed off to work soon after.

Reviewed domestic and global news while having some breakfast.

Emptied dishwasher.

Took out the garbage.

Adjusted hot tub chemicals.

Put Vinegar down AC condensation drains and changed AC filters.

Walked the dogs.

Hit balls for an hour at TopGolf.

Walked through Academy sports but didn’t buy anything.

Got gas.

Grabbed drive-thru Chick-fil-A for lunch.

Went to the gym.

Walked through the PGA store but didn’t see anything I needed.

Got home.

Took a 30-minute Power Nap.

Watched a few instructional golf tutorial videos.

Read.

Walked the dogs again.

Feed the dogs.

Did some yard work.

…and now it’s just past 5 and my wife will be home soon.

She sometimes asks what I did during the day.

To be honest, some days have been so tension-free that I often only remember a few highlights.

But I’m ready today, but only if she asks.

Her work days, as were mine, would never have this entries title.

Probably no, at least for today

My wife: I heard the Geriatric fellowship program is going to expand and move to a new location. Would you be interested in precepting the geriatric fellows occasionally?

Me: I don’t know. I’ll give it some thought.

It’s a new day…I’m still giving it some thought.

I’m leaning toward “no,” but, who knows, I may have different thoughts tomorrow.

So, I’ll just keep these thoughts to myself for now unless you are reading this brief blog entry…then you’ll know as well! 😏.